Unenchanting Snow Days and Catfish

You may ask, "why is she blogging right now? Shouldn't she be at work?"  And then I may answer, "I'd rather be at work than blogging right now, thanks for asking!"  (Who knows how long THAT thought may cross my mind.. so maybe I should just appreciate this day off)

HOWEVER, when you sit in a fairly empty apartment, for a fairly substantial amount of time, while you are (fairly) alone... you pretty much just want to start work.  I unfortunately got a phone call at 9pm last night telling me not to worry about coming in.  Thank you snow, ice, and freezing rain-- I did NOT have my first day of work today. womp.womp.

It's not as magical, and enchanting as a snow day in 3rd grade - there will be no play dates, no snow men, no igloos.  Just coffee, and crappy TV.

Anyway, as I sit here, blogging, sipping my coffee (that I haven't figured out the proper proportion of coffee grinds to water for because my coffee pot is weird).. I'm watching Anderson Cooper.  Which is weird, because I never watch him, but I can't find Ellen on my new line-up.  He, of course, is chatting it up about hot topics and all that jazz.. namely, lying over the internet. 

How do YOU know that I AM who I say that I AM? (aside from, my family knows that I'm writing this and.. I am in fact, who I say that I am)  But really, how would you know? 

I could be a 50 year old woman who is having some kind of life-crisis, thinking that she hasn't accomplished anything and needs a voice to be heard, even if it isn't hers.  Or heck, even weirder- a MAN.
The idea of this "Catfish" concept truly BLOWS my mind.  And this kind of goes back to my phone interview thing- my boss really doesn't know me.. at all.  And yet, she hired me because she believed in the "me" that she met over the phone (lucky for her, I am, in fact as fabulous as I say I am in interviews).  I could have been purple, with orange tattoos on my face.

It's pretty unfortunate that we have to second guess who we will talk to, buy our couches from, adopt puppies from, etc etc.  I can't even buy a couch on Craiglist without thinking twice about who this person may ACTUALLY be. 

**random thought--Did the creators of the intwerwebz foresee identity fraud? I doubt anyone sat around a table thinking "Yeah, in 92354907245 years this will be used to break the hearts of people AROUND THE WORLD MWAHAHAHA"

HOWEVER, there is (clearly) some reason to have faith in humanity when phone interviews are still a viable way to secure employment.  Not that this is the only way to have some kind of faith in humanity and identity, because there are obviously many other things. 

Nonetheless, it does cross my mind when I walk into a furniture store (I've been in a few this week) that I could come up with some crazy alter ego and just see how it goes.  But that's in person.. and not really traumatizing anyone (unless I actually chose a CRAZY alter ego). 

Alright.  My rant is over.  This was probably really long, drawn out, and more than likely boring.  My apologies.  I'll come back with something better. 

xx. Mayonnaise

p.s. try not to make a fake profile on some website today! I know this was inspiring & thought provoking - but try to withstand the temptations. 

The Thoughts I Think..

I HAVE CABLE & INTERNET! (after a lovely day of technicians and customer service reps... boo)

It's so crazy that we don't realize that cable & internet are luxuries.  We are so used to having every single thing at the tips of our fingers; the news, our friends, our e-mail, weather reports, communication, interwebz, crazy crazy crazy. Also crazy, how one thought leads to another completed unrelated thought, which can lead to another TOTALLY unrelated thought.. it's crazy, the thoughts I think.

So here is where my mind just ended up... A few years ago, when I was in college, I went to Haiti on a missions trip.  I went down there with a group college kids, some who had been there before, some who hadn't.  We helped build a well and school.  Most of what we did at the school was painting, while the Haitian work crew did the bulk of the construction.  I remember coming home thinking, "I won't take these material things for granted ever again."  Unfortunately, I think I have started to.  Let's face it, I'm sitting here, typing, the author of a blog that is all about the "hardships" of "coming of age" in the United States.

My goal has always been to help people, in any way that I can.  I thought that by starting this blog, I'd be helping others while writing in a cathartic manner.  But it's crazy that this helping other people thing has been started on a medium that SO many people in the WORLD don't have.  As far as I can tell, I have been accomplishing what I set out to do (at least on my end of this bargain) when I started to write this blog.  It's just so crazy to think how far separated I am from that unbelievable, unforgettable experience in Limonade, Haiti. 


That was all very, very deep.
Here are some nonsensical things that I've been up to this week (aside from spending 5 hours in Panera).

I've been settling into & decorating my new apartment! YAY

bought some supplies at Target, had some stuff PLUS yellowheartart ALL over my apartment!

mom had a brilliant idea to hang a curtain in the entry way to keep out the cold!

YAY for SKYPE!

Sunshine & I finally had our first Skype date after he split on Tuesday (lame, I agree).  It was nice to see his fabulous red-headedness.

BUT. I'd be lying if I said it's been all fun & games since I moved in.  I may sound like a truly BROKEN record, but it's not easy doing this living-on-your-own stuff.  HOWEVER, I am getting to the point where I am NOT crying every time I get off the phone with my mom or Sunshine! YAY! (don't worry, I've already thrown myself a party full of frozen yogurt and red wine)

I'm going to continue enjoying my 40 year old life, while watching movies on HBO and sipping my wine.  Happy Saturday to you all!

xx. Mayonnaise

You Can Call Me Captain Kirk.

"Captain's Log. Day 1. I went to Panera to interact with civilization and get on those interwebz.  The life forms appear to be... hungry."

SUP?!

Again, my apologies for an overdue update and post, because yet again, the last few days have been NUTS. 

I currently have no minimal furniture, zero internet, no cable, and no companions.  So, yes, I'm being that weird girl, sitting in Panera, alone, listening to music, alone, sippin' a cappuccino, alone and writing.. a blog.  How cliche?

HAY GUYS!

Anyway, back to bidness. 
I have moved in to my new apartment!  SO EXCITING! The thought just occurred to me that I should have taken pictures to spice up this post a bit, but it would be pictures of blank walls, and empty rooms, and blahblahblah.  Once it's all decorated and beautified.. I'll let a take a peek.  If you're nice.

Sunshine & I drove both of our cars aaaall the way to my new place, caravan style like we were in Egypt on camels.. or wherever they ride camels, and unloaded about 80% of my belongings! The other 20% is still in my little sleepy town apartment, and will be picked up at a (hopefully-not-too-much) later date!

His parents came and brought a ton of furniture, which is SUPER helpful, because I own .. nothing.  We went to dinner, caught up, had a jolly good time, and then before we knew it, it was time to call it a night. 

The next morning I made pancakes and went on a fabulous Bed Bath & Beyond shopping spree (thanks to gift cards.. because let's face it, I can barely afford a tooth brush in there) and furnished my new bathroom! YAY! I CAN PEE WITH NEW STUFF SURROUNDING ME! And then, yet again, before we knew it, it was time to call it a day, and Sunshine had to leave me.

Tears. Hugs. Lots of love.  It sucked though.  BUT THEN! TA DA! My cousin Jordan & his lovely girlfriend came to the rescue and went to dinner with me so that I wouldn't be in the fetal position all day.  We had a great time catching up, and it is seriously SO nice to have family only 25 minutes away! CRAZY! I've lived at least 6 hours from any and all family members for 4 1/2 years.  It's QUITE the luxury to be so close!

Anyway, I'll wrap this up (before my allowance of 30 minutes of wifi expires) with a few pros of living alone.. because the cons are obvious, and depressing.

UNO - I've been wearing the same sweat pants since Monday evening.

DOS - I wouldn't even HAVE TO WEAR THOSE PANTS if I didn't want to! (sorry Mom, but it's true!)

TRES - ...... I'll think of another one, and report out.

"Kirk out. "

xx. Mayonnaise. 

A Year in Review.. 20 Days Late?

GEEZE. This week has been absolutely crazy.  Tons of fun, but still.. absolutely crazy.

In honor of my birthday and me landing a big girl job and moving to a new town and starting a piece of "adult-life" and **deep inhale** a million other things, I celebrated Friday with a ton of great friends!  Probably celebrated a bit too much, and was not about to sit in front of my lap top yesterday, so my apologies for a tardy post. LOVEMEANYWAY!

I'm going to write this without getting cheesy too cheesy (hopefully).

Today is my one year anniversary of dating Sunshine.  Adorable, puke, love, I know.  But, without anyway to avoid this cliche, I really never thought that I'd be where I am right now, in this fabulous relationship, 400ish days ago.

Sunshine & I before we were even dating!

To be completely honest, I at first had no interest in dating anyone, let alone this dude I barely knew that I played volleyball with.  I kind of just went with the flow, went on a real date (who does THAT anymore) and wound up spending the last 365 days with someone who wound up being my best friend.  

Now, what the heck does this have to do with saving the world or paying bills or anything else in my "Coming of Age" title?  Well.. just about everything.  Together, we have graduated, completed our student teaching/internships, spent a handful of months with part-time jobs to get food on our table, pay our rent, and pay the bills.  But above all that, Sunshine has always encouraged me and supported me in order for me to try to live out my dreams (even though most days I don't know what they are, he seems to).  He really understands my desire to help others, give what I can back, and try to make an impact on others.

BUT he's not the only member of my support system.  In the last 365 days I have met new people, made new friends, strengthened old friendships, and really began to surround myself with people who believe in ME.  That, I think, is one of the best parts of this whole "coming of age" bidness.  As we mature, we start to learn who the "Friday-Sunday friends" are and who the "through thick & thin" friends are.

Murphy, Jeff, myself. laughing. ..at ourselves.

Hilary!

These are just 2 of my favorite shots from our celebration with my forever friends (not all those who celebrated are pictured).  If I put in every picture, this would just be a camera roll, and you'd be bored, because you don't know them!  But, I'm so glad to have all of these people, and all of the people who were with me on Friday in my life to help send me on my way into this next chapter of life.

So. I grew up, a TON, in the matter of ... 2 days.  What did you do this weekend?

xx. Mayonnaise

PS! Today is the International Day of Acceptance. Check out 3eLove on facebook and their store online! Embrace. Educate. Empower.

96 Hours of Beer on the Wall.. 96 Hours of Beer..

[[Clarification: 96 hours .. UNTIL I MOVE!]]

How crazy fast did THAT happen!? Interview Wednesday, job offered Friday, apartment searched yesterday, applied & approved in an hour! CRAZINESS! Moving on Monday!

I am so fortunate to have the very wide spread, totally kick-ass, support system that I do!  I received text messages from a bazillion people yesterday offering help, advice, and a dinner date once I move in to my new place! 

My mom (!) came with me yesterday (and when I say she came WITH me.. I mean she drove from our house 4 hrs east of my new place, while I drove from my apartment 4 hours west of my new place) just to help me sort through details, pick out apartments, and make sure I didn't get lost/wreck my car/completely embarrass myself (that last one was key).  It was a FABULOUS day, and I'm so glad I got to spend the time with my mamabear, she's pretty fabulous.  And she's probably more excited about I am than this move, because it brings me so much closer to home (let me tell ya, 150 miles in the car beats 400 miles, NO DOUBT).

So, amongst my apartment searching and catching up with my mom, I got to meet my new boss in person (yes, I did the phone interview thing).  For the first few minutes while I waited to meet her I thought, "What if I had a tattoo on my face? What if she thinks I'm a crazy person in real life? What if .." Nonetheless, we met, she was great, our conversation was great, and the day was. just. great. 

I'm so excited to be working for a cause I'm passionate about, while working with people who are just as equally passionate.  And when I say just as equally passionate, I am SERIOUS.  This girl is AWESOME. 

While I was driving myself home (and myself CRAZY over everything happening the next few days) I realized that this weekend will be FULL of celebrations! YAY for birthdays & going away parties smushed all up into one! BOOM! And then once I got home, Sunshine gave me an early birthday present (because let's face it, I got home and shed a tear or two.. I know.. puke. because it's going to royally SUCK to leave him in this sleepy little town).  BUT LOOK WHAT I GOT!

swoon. hand painted BEAUTIFUL locket from khara ledonne (peep her store!)

 my. heart. melted. duh.

So, cheers to new beginnings! If this could all happen in 7.2 days.. what the heck could happen in the next 7.2 days!? We could cure cancer, go skydiving, build a fort! TONS OF POSSIBILITIES

Adventure is out there!

xx. Mayonnaise

Guess Who Got Some Big Girl Pants!

HELLO! 

I WISH YOU COULD SEE ME TYPING THIS BECAUSE I CAN BARELY SIT STILL!
For those of you (trying) to keep up, I GOT THAT JOB I TOLD YOU ABOUT! 

I was offered the job on Friday, and called back .3917759 seconds later to accept it and I AM BEYOND STOKED (as you can probably tell from my shouty capitals. forgive me.. and them. I'm not yelling at you, I swear.  They are excitement capitals!!)

Back to business.  I can say that I have officially gotten my big girl pants.

I'm on the hunt for a new apartment (this job calls for relocation), some new friends in the area (application post to follow), and a job for Sunshine (my boyfriend).  It's all really exciting but it is happening SO FAST! CRAZINESS!

I'm so looking forward to working for a cause.  That's one of the things I want in life, is to work with purpose.  To help other people however I can.  For as far back as I could remember my mom has always told me that I'm on this planet to make someone ELSE'S life better.  I can't wait to start doing that!

But of course, this is bittersweet.  Sunshine & I have never lived further away than 5 minutes from each other.  This is going to be an awesome step, but it's going to definitely be difficult.  I'm not looking forward to not being able to see him in the morning, cook dinner with him at night, and pin him down so I can pick his nose (gross, yes, but it's funny because he HATES it).

All of these experiences are going to most definitely be interesting, but hey, at least I can write about them!

Anyway. SO EXCITED! Hope you all had great weekends and fabulous things are happening in your lives! 

xx. Mayonnaise

Nuts & Nutshells of the week?

LOTS of things are happening this week!  Not going to bore you with a laundry list. But I AM going to hit you with some highlights in a nutshell.

...I don't know why we use that phrase. Nuts, nutshells, don't get it.

Found an AWESOME new app, that I'm trying to use just about every day.  It's called Charity Miles.  If you're a runner, download it.  If you're someone interested in charity & making a difference, download it.  If you walk to and from your car while cleaning laundry at the laundromat (snooze), DOWNLOAD THIS APP!  Charity Miles donates 25 cents/mile run or walked, and 10 cents/mile cycled.  Insane, simple, brilliant!
I love this idea of combining physical activity with giving BACK! seriously, was beyond STOKED to see that something like this exists!  Check it out, lemme know what you think.  So far I've run about 10 miles while donating to Autism Speaks, and plan to use it for every outdoor mile I run in 2013.

Also exciting, job interviews with very meaningful organizations.  I admitted during this interview (and maybe I shouldn't have, who knows) that I truthfully do not know "what I want to be when I grow up."  We'll find out if that paid off in a few days..cross your fingers for me!  What I did find out when I said that, was that it was REALLY liberating.  To hear the interviewers' reactions was fabulous, because they agreed with me!  I told them all I want is to feel like I'm working for a purpose, and I think working with this organization will be a fabulous stepping stone on this path and on my journey to make this world a better place however I can!

Before I uncover the very next on-the-edge-of-your-seat-exciting-piece-of-news.. please give yourself a hug.  Now you're probably looking at the screen like, what the heck is this chick doin?  Seriously.. hug yourself.  KAY GREAT, glad we all did that.
I received a fabulous message from a more than fabulous person who told me that she turned to writing to express her feelings.  She sent me something she wrote.  I. CRIED. *happy proud mama tears, not misery tears* IT. WAS. BEAUTIFUL.  and it was all about how being different is OK!  Which I felt coincided with the start of this new blog, so duh, I had to talk a little about it.

My coming of age story is all about being myself, finding myself, and leaving my mark.  If you don't like the way I do things, or what I do, or what I believe in; you are entitled to your own opinion.  But growing up is all about (at least this is the basic gist of what I've gathered) exploring, and figure out who you are.  YOU ARE DIFFERENT. Get over it! I am! The best we can do is share & educate!

that's it & that's all! : D

xx. Mayonnaise

My life as a Disney princess..

I got to channel my inner Disney princess to day at work..and unfortunately it wasn't AT Disney World dressed up like beautiful Snow White or Pocahontas.. and no, I didn't run away with my Prince Charming on a white horse into the sunset & live happily ever after. 

... but it was instead channeling my inner CINDERELLA.. scrubbing all day long.  

As much as I really wouldn't want to trade spots with our friend Cinderella, all the scrubbing really gave me a lot of time to think.. As I just typed that sentence I thought, "I never understood what people really meant when they said 'oh it gave me time to think'" Don't you think all of the time?  Isn't everything you do based from at least ONE little thought?  Even if it's.. oh I need to poop now. (sorry, but HONESTLY, isn't it all thoughts?)

Anyway, it gave me some serious time to think.  I was completely in my own world, with birds chirpin' around me, and mice scurrying to fetch me things (I seriously wish), while I used a magic eraser to remove scuffs, and thought.  

So.  Here is what I was thinking about. Right before I left for work this morning I saw a quote, posted on a social media interwebz site, by an organization I tend to agree with. 

If you cannot do something great, do small things in great ways. 

   At first, I thought, hey! that's pretty cool!  Then, as I thought while I was at work, it started to really grind my gears. 

  So, I did what any other perfectly normal (I tend to use that loosely) person would do, and I looked up the definition of the word great.

Adjective

Of an extent, amount, or intensity considerably above the normal or average.

Noun

A great or distinguished person.

Adverb

Excellently; very well.

Synonyms

grand - big - large - high So here is my question.  How do YOU judge what is GREAT?  Who is it that says that whatever thing they did, or whatever thing they saw done.. was in fact, NOT great?  By definition, great is anything outside of average or the normal.  If you open the door for someone, if you say hello, if you offer a stranger the change they need.. those tend to be outside the normal or average range, don't they?  I'm pretty sure if my future child came home with a picture of me and I had 6 eyes, green hair, and purple skin, it would STILL BE GREAT (largely because, I'm going to create GREAT children).  BUT THAT'S MY POINT! What MAKES something GREAT? In my mind, great is relative. Don't let anything stand in your way.  Of doing anything you think you can, or you think you may want to do.  That may sound fairly bold for a young 20something to say.  But in my few years of life, I've done things that people FLAT OUT told me that I couldn't do.  So go out there, just go and do it.  Just BE great.  Maybe it's a lot to strive for, but that's all I'm trying to be.  Let me know what you do, and what you find.      xx. Mayonnaise

Intros, Anyone?

Hi!

To be honest with you, I don’t know entirely how you’re supposed to start these things.  These blog..things.  Maybe after a while I’ll have some signature greeting & sign off, but for now, I’ll start with hi.

If you found this by accident, that’s pretty sick!  But if you’re like the other 3 people reading this, I probably know you, and it’s even more likely we’re related, you're still welcome!  Anyway, I was convinced that I should start writing this by my lovely friend, Leonora, who is quite a blog celeb herself (and, I’m not gonna lie to ya, it’s something on my unofficial-unwritten-bucket-list).  It’s something I’ve thought a lot about since graduation, but just haven’t done (which I don’t have a good excuse for, since I don’t have a full time job). 

So, let me introduce myself (if you do, in fact, happen to be that 1 person that found this by accident).  My name is Patty, which you probably could have gathered when you saw Patricia A. Mayonnaise.  I graduated from a bachelors program in May, and since then I’ve been just trying to find my way.  Whatever that may be. 

While trying to find this way, I’ve become a retail slave.  I hated the idea of this.  I’m not the type to smile at you cheesily and gooey and be all “OH HI HOWS YOUR DAY?!” but I’ve actually really liked this job.. “where is it?” you may ask.  For now, I’ll just tell you I sell SOAP.

So, back to me introducing.. me. Let’s do all the cheesy stuff first..

THIS IS ME

I make lots of faces.. you'll get used to it.

I live with my boyfriend

he makes faces too.. again, you'll get used to it.

(this just so happens to be the 2 of us together..)

yes, you guessed it, we're both making faces.

And my best friends!

Cee, Kel, Erin, ME. yes, Chris lives with 4 HOT BABEZ.

But, Cee & Kel just moved out for their internships and its just me, Ginger Chris, and Erin, in a teeny tiny town right where we all graduated. (Erin is in PT school so she has a cool reason to be here, Chris & I are official townies)

So, here are some things I like love(and at least one of them I probably shouldn’t admit outloud.. or over the interwebz)

MORNING TELEVISION. I LOVE morning talk shows. Don’t get to watch them as much as I’d like, but Ellen is my girl, and so is Whoops (love the View,  love Elisabeth a bit less)  

FOOD. I seriously love food.  I’m really active, and have a degree in Exercise Science.. but nowhere in any of my nutrition classes did they tell me to STOP eating cheese or peanut butter.. you better believe I eat them.. on the daily.

FRIENDS & FAMILY.  Don’t mess with them.  Seriously though, you can be friends with us, NO DOUBT, but hurt one of my friends.. and I’ll leave those consequences to your imagination ; )  (that’s my inner Queens coming out)

ADVOCACY.  As you’ll learn if you keep up with me (I know, it’s hard, I’m all over the place), I am a huge believer in equal opportunity for all individuals.  I spent 3 years working at one of the most amazing places that believes in enriching the lives of individuals with disabilities. (THIS IS WHERE MY WORLD CHANGING WILL *hopefully* COME INTO PLACE)

EDUCATION.  I loved school as a kid, love school still, would love to go back to school (already), would love to teach at a school.  Aiiiiiight, I’ll admit, I’m a nerd. BUT I LOVE KNOWLEDGE.  Not the know-it-all kind of knowledge, but just having worldly perspective knowledge.

I won’t list things I don’t like, because, honestly, who wants to waste time on THAT.

Back to the deep, insightful introduction..  I’m really just trying to find whatever this crazy life has in store.  This blog will probably contain lots of random thoughts (like this post already has), and ramblings, and perspectives I gain, and things I do.. and just randomness.  If you don’t like, don’t read, if you do like, READ AWAY! Also, this won’t be like a “OOOH NOW I’M GETTING STARBUCKS, AND I HAVE A DOCTOR APPOINTMENT IN 23 MINUTES” kind of blog.. PROMISE. 

So if you’re in the same boat, and you’re a starving 20 something looking for their way in this world, trying to make ends meet, maintaining friendships, living away from your family & friends, trying to leave your mark and make a difference in the world, and still trying to cook dinner by 6pm (deep inhale) LET’S BE FRIENDS!  I’ll share my coming of age story.  Maybe it will help us all.

Much love.

xxMayonnaise 

p.s. this background picture isn't just some random kids graduating.. it's ME. I'm the one with the painted cap to the right, CHECK ME OUT OWW OWW.

[DISCLAIMER!!!: this is probably going to be a constant stream of thought. PLEASE don’t ever be offended by anything I say, & know I hope to never say anything to offend anyone.  I’m just honest, and being me, that’s it & that’s all.]